The Mage
by skiing Pelican
Summary: Dean and Cas' daughter got captured, and when they went to rescue her, Dean was hit with a nasty spell that brings some life altering changes. As Dean adjusts to the new situation, they still need to hunt down the mage and his insane theater of supernatural.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: the mage

**Author**: skiing_pelican

**Rating**: NC 17

**Genre and/or Pairing**: established Dean/Cas, past Sam/Gabriel

**Spoilers**: none, really. You are fine if you know Cas.

**Warnings**: hurt/comfort, implied character death, transformation, kid!fic

**Authors note: **

This story is set in an alternate post season 5 AU, based on my fic A (new) Winchester's life. All the aspects of the verse will unfold as the story progresses, so I won't give much away here, except that Dean and Cas have lived the happy family life for about 13 years before this story. It's not necessary to know "a (new) Winchester's life" to read this. The story starts at an unusual point, but bear with me, this story will consist of much more than just angst and hurt/comfort and will have a lot of mood whiplash.

**Disclaimer:**

I own Joa and all other OC's that don't belong to Supernatural. Nothing more.

* * *

The lazy staccato of the heart monitor still didn't change. Castiel didn't think he could get angry like this at a sound. It was offensive, reminding him with each long pause between the double beeps how sickeningly slow Dean's heart was beating. His hand covered Dean's, and he was wracking his brain what else he could say to his comatose lover. A nurse entered, checked Dean's vital signs and offered him a sad smile before silently leaving them again. She was the one who had suggested to talk to Dean, explaining that he could hear him. But Castiel doubted it. He could not reach Dean, the magic blocking off any attempts.

Castiel felt helpless. He didn't know what to do. He had healed Dean's body completely, but Dean just didn't wake up. The doctors where perplexed, couldn't explain why Dean just didn't wake up. It looked like Dean's mind, his soul, was gone, but Castiel knew that couldn't be true. Dean's body wouldn't be able to stay alive without his soul. It was locked away, somewhere within this body.

Castiel had reached the point where he regretted everything that happend. Not that they really had a choice. They had to go to Vegas, to free Joa. He replayed everything that happened in his head, time and time again, analysing what he should have done to save both Dean and Joa. But he had been to slow, to occupied, and didn't reach Dean in time to protect him from the Mage's spell. Dean dropped down, motionless, bleeding from endless wounds. He barely registered Joa's desperate cry as he dropped down in front of Dean and cradled him in his arms. He barely registered the mage leaving with a self-satisfied laugh and a boasting poof of flame.

First Joa, now Dean. Joa was safe, but still far from all right. She was uncharacteristically silent, not surprising after being held captured as attraction in a supernatural freak show and seeing her dad in this state. The teen didn't leave his side for one moment, and she still looked slightly panicked every time she was forced to stay in a small room, even the toilet. Cas was sure that even this hospital room was much to small for comfort. But she needed to stay with her patents.

Quiet music filled the room. Joa had taken the guitar once more and picked the strings. The music soon involuntarily fell in rhythm with the slow beeping of the hear monitor. Castiel didn't think his daughter noticed it. And he really hoped that Dean could hear the familiar sound. At least, it calmed Joa herself. She hung more than sat in the deep chair on the other end of the room, one leg swung over an armrest, the guitar leaning causally against her. Castiel looked over Dean's bed and his eyes met green ones that looked so much like Dean's. Another pang of grief overwhelmed him and he had to look away from his daughter.

He felt the prickling sensation in his eyes that he had come to associate to tears. The dull grey-blue of the floor started to blur in his vision. The picking stopped and quiet footsteps came over. Joa kneeled down next to him and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his shirt. She started to weep quietly, shaking and soaking his chest as his own tears slowly trailed down his cheeks and tickled into her long, raven curls. He closed his arms around her and held her close, comforting her as much as he could. He didn't say anything. Everything had been said already, and he didn't want to lie and say everything would be okay. And he didn't want her ho hear his voice breaking.

"Pa, it's been weeks." she finally whispered, her voice hoarse from crying and breaking from pain. And she was right. Sam and Bobby were still trying to find anything to wake Dean up, but nothing had worked. But they couldn't give up. Joa needed her dad. She wouldn't be able fly to heaven and visit him like he would. But Dean didn't die. The state he was in was much more depressing, trapped in his own body, a fate much worse than that of a ghost. Here, and yet they were unable to reach him.

"It's not over yet." he said. His eyes trailed to Dean's face. The hunter looked peaceful, as if he was merely sleeping. Castiel couldn't just sit by anymore.

"I'm going to try something." he announced. Joa backed off enough to look at him with wide, surprised eyes.

"What? What do you want to try?" she asked hopeful.

"I need you to leave." he said flat out, pointedly ignoring her question. She stared at him with the same wide, round doe eyes Dean always had when he was frightened. She looked at her dad, before she looked back at him scared. He knew how much he was asking of her as much as she knew he had a reason. She knew her pa wasn't one to beat around the bush. But after all that happened, he asked much. She didn't feel safe alone, and she didn't want to leave her dad.

"Okay." she said anyway, her voice meek. She felt that he was sorry. She wasn't very powerful for an angelic creature – there was to much human in her to call her an angel – but she was a strong empath.

They both stood up, and Joa hugged him, clinging to him desperately as if her life depended on it. Cas silently patted her hair. Without another word, Joa stepped back and fanned out her wings.

"Wait." Castiel said and gripped her arm, holding her back. She turned back.

Castiel hesitated, unsure about what to say.

"I love you. You are my family." he said in enochian, hesitating again. He had to pick his words carefully, he didn't want to scare her even more.

"I will always love you." he added. He wanted to say something else, to tell her if he ever died, they would still meet again, sometime, somewhere. That she didn't need to worry or grief. But he just couldn't scare her with his thoughts. She was already wrecked over her dad's state and what she had gone through herself. What he said came close enough to the truth. She knew all those other things anyway, but nothing he could say would change that she would grief and they would be separated for a lifetime.

"I love you too, pa." She replied, looking even more scared now. She sure picked up to much of his vibes.

"Tell Bobby and Sam to come to our home in one hour."

"Pa, what are you going to try?" Joa asked.

"Something desperate." he admitted. There was no point in denying it. "If I'm successful, Dean will be okay, but things might change. But you shouldn't be afraid."

He brushed his hand over her curls once more, comfortingly. Joa looked like she was about to burst into tears again. But she forced a week smile.

"Grandpa will call you Idjit." she murmured. Castiel returned the smile, just as weakly.

"Bye, Pa." she said, not waiting for an answer before she leaped out of the window and flew off, invisible to human eyes.

Cas went back to Dean's bed and touched two fingers to his forehead. They were both gone the same moment, the heart monitor going flat, beeping in alarm. Nurses rushed in and stopped fabbergashed in front of the abandoned bed, staring at it incredulously.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm deeply sorry that there was such a long pause between the first chapter and the second. I've been suffering writers block and thought putting the first chapter up would help, but no such luck. But I'm in the groove again, and you can expect regular updates from now on! To make up for it, here have an extra long chapter. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!

* * *

Dean slowly blinked his eyes open. It took him a moment to realize he was looking up at the ceiling of his bedroom. Still disoriented, he sat up and looked around. His head was throbbing like a jackhammer and his vision was blurring, his eyes needing to adjust again after having not been used for so long. Dean had no memory at all of what had happened to him. He just noticed this weird feeling - and his spidey sense was tingling. He rubbed a hand over his tired eyes, clearing his vision somewhat. He tried to remember what had happened. Had he been on a hunt? But that somehow sounded weirdly wrong. He tried to remember what had been his last hunt, but the thought felt odd, distant - like he hadn't hunted in a lifetime. He felt weird. Like something was different. He had to find Sam - Sam would know.

That's when he stood up and noticed the shattered bedroom window. But oddly, that was not what had triggered his spidey senses. Living with a partly angelic family, shattered glass just happened from time to time, along with bleeding ears and occasional deafness. Wait, what? Angelic family? Where did that thought come from? And wait - this was his bedroom?

"Cas?" he croaked, his voice rough from neglect. Bits and pieces from his past and present life jumbled, he wasn't able to make sense of it. Why the heck did he think of this house as his, when they were still road-tripping in the car? He turned to the other side of the bed - Cas side, he realized - and saw him. Cas was lying there right next to him, curled up in a small ball but his body completely slack. His face was contoured in pain.

"Cas!" Dean shouted out in panic, immediately reaching out for him as he suddenly stopped in mid movement. Adrenalin surged through his veins, clearing his head, and he was finally able to remember everything. His mouth felt dry and nausea rose up in him as tears filled his eyes. There where shadows of wings stretching out behind Cas.

"Cas." he said once more, his voice trembling as he pulled him into his arms. "No, no, no, no, no! Cas, you can't just die on me! You can't!"

The shadow wings traveled sickeningly dead behind Cas as he pulled him up into his lap. "Please Cas..." he muttered on unintelligibly, his voice staring to betray him. It was coming back to him now - all the years with Cas - stopping hunting to raise their daughter - Sam settling down near them. More tears trickled up behind his eyes and he could barely see Cas anymore behind them. He buried his nose in the ruffled raven hair as he couldn't hold back anymore and started so sob into his lovers hair. As he tightened his arms around the dead shoulders, a strange sensation brushed his arms that made his breath catch.

This can't be right, he though, I'm imagining things. But he reached down anyway, trailing his fingers down Cas' back. As he moved, there was a strange rustling sound, but it didn't come from the direction of Cas' body.

Alarmed, Dean reached for the gun under his pillow. But he couldn't see anything in the room with them.

"Wherever you are, show yourself you sick son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed angrily, his eyes searching the room and gun at the ready while his other hand still cradled Cas' body. But after moments of silent staring, there was nothing. Dean laid the gun down, still suspiciously glancing around, but turned back to Cas.

Dean leaned back at the headboard, gun at the ready and pulled Cas up to him. From whatever that strange noise came from, he wasn't going to let it get Cas' dead body. He trailed a finger down Cas' back and could feel a strange, cottony soft sensation at the top of his fingertips. He pushed down more against it and felt strong bone and taunt muscles beneath the strange softness. He knew that feeling. He was touching Cas' wings - and they felt exactly the same way as Joa's.

Tears started to stream down his face and more sobs escaped him involuntarily as he fisted his hand into the invisible softness of Cas' wings. "Cas...", he sobbed, "Now I get to feel your wings? Now?" It figured fate was so cruel and only now allow him to touch Cas' wings. It made the whole thing even more sickening than it was already. The feeling of loss was overwhelming. He finally lost all of what little control he had left and sobbed openly into Cas' soft, dark hair.

Suddenly, the door burst open downstairs and two pairs of feet trampled in. Dean immediately snatched the gun. If those sick sons of bitches came up here, he would rip off their heads for what they did to Cas. He barely stopped himself from shooting as the door to the room was shoved open to reveal Sam.

"Dean!" his brother cried out happily, but the glee in his eyes died immediately when he took in the scene on the bed. He stopped dead in his tracks, staring down at them in shock, leaving just enough place between himself and the door that Bobby could squeeze through.

"Balls!" Bobby exclaimed. "What did feathers do?"

Dean only shook his head, his face crumbling into a grimace as he tried to hold back more sobs in front of Sam and Bobby. The two other hunters could easily see how completely wrecked Dean was. He tried to look angry, but he couldn't hide the obvious wet trails on his cheeks and the sadness in his red eyes. Besides, there was no way he could fool those two.

"What happened?" Dean asked, his voice shaky and pained. He hated hearing himself like that, but Sam and Bobby didn't comment.

"You were out cold for a while." Bobby explained. "We thought we lost you. Joa just appeared..."

"Joa? Where is she? She okay?" Dean immediately asked.

"Yeah, she's fine, calm down boy." Bobby replied. Dean was visibly relieved, his body relaxing just a tiny bit.

"As I said, Joa just appeared in my house while Sam and I were still searching for a way to wake your marbles up again. She said Cas would try something. He didn't tell her what, and knowing this Idjit I already feared the worst when suddenly this angelic screeching started and shattered everything. We came here as fast as we could. Joa fainted, but she's okay, I made sure of it. She's napping on my sofa, and should wake up soon."

"We came here as fast as possible." Sam added, his voice full of compassion.

Uncomfortable silence filled the room. The other hunters had no idea what to do and Dean still couldn't grasp what to do with himself or Cas' lifeless body in his arms. The seconds crawled by, feeling like the most horrible hours of Dean's life. He slung his arm tighter around Cas, pressing him close for his dear life.

Bobby finally turned to the door and muttered to Sam "Let's leave Dean some space."

Sam shuffled nervously from one foot to the other, and was about nod in agreement when he froze again. Instead, he exclaimed "Wait. Cas' chest is heaving - Dean! He's breathing!"

Dean looked up at him dumbly.

"He's not dead!" Sam explained.

Dean stared down at Cas with wide eyes while searching for his pulse. Sam was right, it was there. Faint, but there. More tears welled up in his eyes instantly, but now they clouded his vision for a completely different reason. His whole body started to react to the news, relieve washing over him in like a physical sensation. His mind was not so fast with grasping it though, his breathing becoming erratic as the emotions closed in on him.

"Oh boy, you're such an idjit! Calm down!" Bobby exclaimed, rolling his eyes in exasperation. He just couldn't get that Dean didn't even check for pulse in his panic.

"But... the wings!" Dean exclaimed dumbly.

"What wings?" Sam asked, frowning.

"The wings!" Dean insisted as if they explained everything and gestured to the bed behind Cas' back. There was absolutely nothing to be seen besides wrinkled sheets to Sam.

"I don't see anything." Sam insisted, a confused frown on his face.

Dean ignored him, trying to reassure himself that Cas' really lived. He held a hand under his nose and felt shallow breaths. Another tear trickled down his features, this time one of joy, while his face crumbled into the weirdest grimace from trying so hard to hold back his emotions. Fuck, with that much crying he could end up dieing from dehydration.

"Come on, Sam." Bobby muttered and dragged Sam out by his jacket, closing the door behind him. As soon as the door closed, Dean cradled Cas's face in both of his hands. "You had me there, buddy," he murmured, "just... don't do that again, okay?"

Cas was just laying in his hands, unresponsive. Dean leaned in and kissed Cas soft, warm lips, tasting his own salty tears.

"That idjit 'll come and we'll sort out everything when he's ready." Bobby suggested, heading down the stairs to make himself comfortable in the living room.

"Okay." Sam agreed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His brother could be such a drama queen. Despite that, Sam couldn't help but be happy. Dean was back up on his feet. Whatever Cas had done, it helped. Sam just feared it came with too bad a price tag.

* * *

Joanna arrived soon after Sam and Bobby sat down in the living room, waiting. Dean would be happy to see his baby girl, but they kept her from going up. She just shouldn't see her parents in their current state. Instead, she curled up against Sam who willingly comforted her with an arm around her shoulders. Remembering how emotionally stunted her parents were way back, it still amazed Sam what a perceptive and compassionate girl they raised. But on the other hand, Sam knew Dean had grown a lot since then. He would never, ever deny his girl a hug, and calling anyone or anything too girly was kinda pointless now. Sam had too much blackmailing material. Of course, Dean still insisted Sam was the biggest girl of them all. And he was, in a sense.

It took some time before Dean finally emerged. He looked much better, he had obviously showered and put on some clothes, but his eyes were still a bit red and puffy. Nobody commented on it though.

"Dad!" Joa exclaimed immediately and leaped against her Dad with a bat of her wings.

"Hey sweetheart!" he laughed and stroked over her raven curls. She pressed herself against him as tightly as she could, but Dean didn't feel the bone crushing, barely suppressed strength behind it that he should feel.

"You okay?" he asked, that tiny detail enough to make him freak out with worry.

"Sure!" she replied, smiling up happily at him.

"How's Pa?" she asked, worried. The corners of her mouth curled down in exactly the same way Cas' were when he was frowning. She looked so much like her Pa.

"He's just sleeping." Dean replied.

"You okay?" she prompted further, not letting go of him. Over her head, Dean could spot Sam grinning at the cute picture the two of them must display. Bobby smiled fondly.

"I feel a little weird, but I'm okay." He smiled down at her.

She suddenly pulled back, staring up at him with wide, incredulous eyes.

"Hey Sweety, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Dad?" she whispered, "What did Pa do?"

Bobby and Sam stood up now, moving up behind her curiously. They both looked concerned, waiting for Joa to point out anything weird that they didn't or couldn't notice.

"I don't know." Dean replied. Joa reached out to something next to Dean. Dean immediately turned to see what she was reaching for. There was nothing.

"Stay." she commanded in a slightly annoyed tone. She had clearly gotten that from her Pa.

"Hey, don't go all bossy on me, little miss!" Dean scolded playfully. She just glared at him before reaching out to his side again.

Suddenly, Dean felt a strange sensation on him, but that couldn't be. She was touching the air next to him. He knew for sure that he didn't have a limp there. But...

"Hey, did I grow a third arm or something while nobody was looking?" he exclaimed in confusion. Sam and Bobby both stared at him as if he had grown a second head. Joa's fingers traveled down, and it felt weirdly as if she was stroking through his hair. How Dean could feel that she was patting the air next to him, he had no idea. But it got only weirder.

Joa closed her eyes and concentrated. Dean could suddenly feel something in her, something like a huge pool of energy. Some of that energy, for a loss of a better word, reached out to him.

A ripping sounded behind his back and loud gasp from Sam brought Dean's attention back to the others. He immediately turned around to find the source of the noise, but in the process, what felt like appendages of him that he should not have, slapped with force against the bodies of his family and sent them to the ground. There was nothing behind him, and he turned back around again.

"Dude, watch out!" Sam complained from his place from the floor. Sam and Bobby where laying in a heap, but Joa apparently ducked in time and held out a hand to them to help them up. It was almost comical to see the small girl help up the moose that was Sam, but she sure was stronger than she looked.

"What just happened?" Dean asked, still unable to grasp anything.

"Take a look in the mirror, boy." Bobby commented. Dean stared at them for a moment before he turned his head to look over his shoulder, this time without turning the rest of his body.

And whatever he expected or feared, it certainly wasn't a pair of huge white wings growing out of his back.

"WHAT THE HELL?" he exclaimed at the top of his lungs. Sam and Bobby covered their ears with a pained groan.

"Keep it down for god's sake you Idjit!" Bobby shouted.

Dean just stared for a moment, still totally shocked. He reached out his own hands to stroke through the feathers with eyes wide as saucers. They had a rich hazel color at the very base, only for a little more than two inches before fading into the same pure white that coated the length of Joa's feathers. They were huge.

"You see them?" he asked. Bobby and Sam nodded.

"So... what the hell happened? Am I an angel now?" Dean asked, still completely perplexed by the situation. Joa shrugged.

"Maybe you are like me?" she suggested slowly.

They all stared at each other at a loss.

"I'm gonna call Gabe." Sam suggested. "Maybe he can tell what happened?"

"Okay." Dean agreed.

Sam straightened himself, awkwardly lacing his fingers together.

"Hello Gabriel... I know you can hear me. We need to talk to you. I know you probably don't want to help me, and I know you have a lot to take care of right now, but if you don't mind..."

Dean was tempted to smack a hand against Sam's stupid floppy head. Sam was just so friggin' awkward at praying. And Dean didn't get it, as he knew Sam had been praying to Gabe only to tell him nonsense stuff that was his day back when they were together.

"Hey gang!" a familiar voice greeted cheerfully. "Sammy." he added, winking at his former boyfriend as usual. But then he turned his eyes immediately on Dean, eyes twinkling curious, a big grin splitting his face.

"Hey Dean-o, what happened? You had an upgrade since the last time I was here?" he laughed, but the Winchesters could tell there was real surprise behind the mocking nonchalance.

"So, that's what the little fallout around here was about." he continued, still smirking.

"Fallout?" Sam inquired.

"Oh, just the usual." Gabriel shrugged with a dismissing wave of his hand. "You know, shattered glass, complete breakdown of the power system, phone lines down, a few ear injuries... all over the state."

"The whole state?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, yeah, pretty much."

"What happened to me?" Dean demanded to know, bringing the conversation back on track. Gabriel's eyes raked his body up and down before he disappeared.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean cursed. Sam and Bobby looked at each other at a loss.

"He's upstairs." Joa said. It didn't take more for the whole family to run up in light speed. Dean nearly knocked Bobby and Sam over again with his wings when he turned.

"Hey, watch out with those!" Sam exclaimed. Dean ignored him and rushed up, as he suddenly disappeared just to crash down hard few steps further up.

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed.

"Dude, you just flew!" Sam exclaimed.

"Yeah... I guess." Dean murmured and pushed himself up again. He started to run up again, taking two steps at a time, no intention on flying whatsoever as he crashed again forcefully against the wall at the end of the staircase.

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed again, indignantly shoving himself up.

"Try to go easy on the mojo you Idjit," Bobby suggested very helpfully.

In the end, they managed to shove themselves and Dean's new wings into the bedroom. Gabriel was standing next to Cas, who was still laying motionless on the bed. Dean had carefully tucked him in under the covers and he looked much more peaceful now. Gabriel frowned down at his brother with his arms crossed. Dean could still see the outline of Cas' wings on the blankets, but he suddenly realized he could also see the shadow of wings folded up neatly behind Gabriel's back.

"You mind sharing with the class?" Dean asked.

Gabriel shook his head slightly. "I must say, Dean-o. Your little family keeps surprising me. I never thought this is possible."

"Spill it already."

Gabriel looked up to them now. "You muttonheads still didn't get it? I don't know how he did it, but apparently, Cassie has torn his grace in half and gave you a part."

"He did what?"

"You heard me. Now, boys and girls, if that's all I'll have things to take care off. I helped Cassie out a bit, so he'll probably wake up in a little while instead of weeks. So long! Hear ya, Sammy."

With that, the archangel was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

While they waited for Cas to wake up to demand some answers, Bobby and Sam filled Dean in what happened since he lost consciousness. Dean couldn't stop pacing around the room. After the initial shock, Dean was furious. Cas had turned him without his consent, and worse even, put himself in great danger to do that. But when Sam and Bobby described how desperate Cas was, he cooled down a bit. Deep down, he trusted Cas. But that didn't mean he wouldn't give Cas one hell of a time for it.

"We all were desperate, man." Sam said, his brow furrowing. "We didn't know what to do anymore. You were a vegetable! For weeks!"

"And he didn't tell you about it?" Dean asked.

"No." Sam answered. "But I don't think I would have told him not to do it."

Dean took a moment and went to the bathroom to look at his wings properly. He cursed as he pressed himself into the small space. He finally understood why Joa was always cussing so much when she decided she needed to wash her wings. She could fold them in pretty tightly against her back, making them much smaller than you'd think possible, but Dean was unable to move them willingly. Instead, he used his hands to move his wings. They were huge and gorgeous, silky soft but strong at the same time. When he looked closer, he realized that his skin was smooth and soft, devoid of any old scars, aside from the hand print that still donned his shoulder. When he looked at his new appendages, the same weird feeling of complete lack of comprehension rose in him that he had when Gabriel first turned him into a girl all those years ago. He hadn't thought it possible to be so weirded out ever again.

Dean flunked down on the sofa in a heap of awkward wings and groaned because apparently, he wasn't even able to sit properly anymore. But Joa helped him shifting the wings into another plane so he could sit properly. He wondered if he could ever get comfortable with those huge things. Joa didn't seem to have such a problem, curling up next to him with her wings out. His own wings were still there, he could see the shadows and he could touch them, but at the same time they passed through everything that belonged to the mortal world. The realization that he was not fully a part of the normal world came over him. He could touch his wings, as he could touch Cas' wings before because he was living in multiple layers of reality at the same time, just like Cas and Joa. Not that he understood that - it was weird as hell. He was itching to get back up to Cas, but there was still a lot that Sam and Bobby had to catch him up to. After a while, Cas' voice was calling him softly.

Dean?

He looked up immediately, but was confused when he didn't see him and couldn't tell where the voice was coming from.

"Cas?" he asked.

The others looked up at him curiously. Then he heard Cas calling his name again.

"Son of a bitch, I think Cas is praying to me!" he exclaimed, weirdly delighted by the idea.

"Go and be worshiped by your angel." Sam snickered. As curious as he was about what Cas had really done, he planned on staying in the safe living room and not get into the verbal crossfire or be forced to witness them devouring each other. With those two, you never knew what happened. Probably both things at once.

Dean ruffled through Joa's hair who looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"You stay here, sweetheart. I wanna talk to pa alone first."

"But I wanna see if he's okay!" the girl pleaded with huge puppy eyes.

"Give us 5 minutes, okay?"

"Okay." She said, but she was clearly not happy about it, glaring and pouting at the same time.

* * *

Dean stomped into his bedroom with the clear intention of giving Cas the shit fit of his live for what he did. Cas was still sitting on the bed, his head snapping around to Dean and immediately the blue eyes locked with his. The relief in Dean was huge to see him awake.

"Cas, what the hell where you thinking?" Dean exclaimed angrily.

Cas didn't respond. He was suddenly standing right in front of Dean, slinging his hands around his back and digging his fingers deeply into Dean's sides, desperately holding onto him as if Dean could vanish if he let him go. He pressed his face into Dean's neck, kissing him softly and breathing in Dean's scent.

"Dean, you're alive," the angel breathed. And shit, his voice was trembling with barely contained emotion. How could Dean stay mad at him like this? Cas had only tried everything in his power to save Dean, and Dean would have done the same for him any day.

"Dean," he murmured into Dean's neck before pulling back and seeking Dean's mouth for a needy kiss, reassuring himself that Dean was still there.

"Clingy much, huh?" Dean teased when they broke apart, the heat gone from his tone now. Dean pressed him closer, threading his fingers through the dark mob of hair.

"I'm glad you're okay Cas, but really, what the hell?" he asked. The anger was gone, but he still needed to know, and if Cas was stupid he was still more than able to give him the shit fit of his life.

Cas pulled back enough to look into Dean's eyes.

"I would give up everything for you, Dean. You know that."

"So you just ripped your grace in half to make me stand up again? Who said I want that?"

"I knew you'd agree to almost anything to be there for our daughter." Castiel explained. "It was the last resort."

"Cas, it could have killed you!" Dean protested. "If saving me means you have to die, then screw that! It's not worth it!"

Cas frowned sadly. "You are worth saving."

"And what about Joa, huh? Just leave her with no parents? I don't want you to do anything like that! If I'm a goner, so be it, but you stay and look after her! Damnit, Cas, I don't want you to die!"

"This is not what I intended. Dean, I don't know how this happened. It was an accident. I wanted to give up all of my grace to you. You would take my place, and I would have stayed on earth as a human. I would have been there for Joanna."

"Cas..." Dean murmured, pulling the angel's head closer again, nuzzling his hair. "Shit like that never goes as planned, you know that."

They just stood there for a moment, not saying anything. Dean was still not happy about everything, but there wasn't really anything he could have said. He'd done more than is own share of stupid shit like this. And as much as he wanted to give him shit about it, this was one of the things Dean loved most about him. How Cas would give up everything for him, for their family. It was also the thing he was most worried about.

Their family. Even after all those years, that thought felt odd. Dean never thought that dream of his could come true, much less in that weird ass way that it had. But that weird-ass family was just perfect.

"You know, you had me worried there a moment. I saw shadows of your wings..."

"I'm sorry, Dean." Cas replied.

Dean could still see the shadows of Cas' wings behind him. Oddly, though, the arms he had slung around Cas' body went right through the wings. He reached out to touch them again, and now his fingers could feel them. Cas sighed contently against him. He had to concentrate on it, obviously.

"'s okay. You saved me, babe." he said and placed a soft kiss in Cas' hair. "You're right, I'd rather grow some new limbs than leave you two. I'll just have to deal with it. Can't be all bad."

Cas pulled back again to look up at Dean, a frown deepening on his features.

Dean sighed. "Look, Cas. I know angels aren't the same as all the other shit out there, even if most of them are dicks. I love you and my girl. It's just kinda hard to get I'm now... like this... myself."

It was good that Cas didn't ask where Dean was going with that, because the moments the words left Dean's mouth, he knew he just said something supremely stupid.

"Man, I was so angry, I didn't even ask if you're okay." Dean frowned after a while. "You must feel like shit. You okay, Cas?"

"I feel weak." Castiel replied dryly. "But I think I'll just have to deal with it."

Dean smiled.

"Cas, show me your wings."

Two huge white wings stretched out behind Castiel. The feathers were white, incredibly long and silky, just like his, but the first inches where deep black with a bluish hue. Dean trailed his fingers through them in awe. He couldn't help but notice how perfectly they seemed to fit Cas.

"Awesome." he murmured. He moved around Cas and trailed his fingers over the short feathers at the strong base, mapping out the muscles beneath in awe, trailing along the spine from joint to joint to the tip of the furthest feather. Cas smiled at him shyly.

"Gorgeous." Dean grinned, locking his eyes with Cas' as he spoke. A light pink tinge graced Cas' cheeks.

"You should see Gabriel's wings." Cas replied.

"Can't be sexier than yours." Dean winked, before finally pulling back and admitting reluctantly "Okay. As much as I love to continue this, we should go down. You've had our girl worried."

Despite his words, Dean stepped up to steal another kiss from Cas. When he pulled back again, Cas wings were folded away. But two shadows behind his back mapped out his wings and Dean could imagine how they looked, neatly folded up behind his back. When he reached out, he could still touch them and Cas smiled at the contact.

Dean took Cas' hand and pulled him out of the room after himself.

"Dean, wait." Cas called, "We need new shirts."

Dean turned surprised and realized that both their shirts had torn at the back. Apparently, Cas lost his clothes mending powers.

* * *

I hope you're enjoying this story - it's one very dear to me. Don't forget to feed my muse with reviews.


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